Waiting outside the student loan office a few weeks ago I picked up a flyer for one of our on-campus counseling services. The topic was being a perfectionist. It went on to describe perfectionists as getting so caught up in doing it perfectly, that they never get started. Stressing over every last detail and forgetting the original purpose. This struck a chord.
I am completely guilty of procrastinating and postponing projects so I can get them done “just right”. I want my papers to be thoroughly researched, expertly and eloquently written, and thought provoking. I want my projects to be the absolute best and most original. I want my blogs to be captivating. My pictures to be works of art. My training to be spot on, and my diet to be on track every meal, every day.
My hair will never behave or be straight enough. My thighs will always be too pudgy. I will forever be too tall or too short. I don’t lift heavy enough. I’m not funny, smart, social or adventurous enough. I don’t floss. My clothes don’t fit right.
But this is me. I’m a chaotic work in progress. Its going to be one hell of a piece once I’m done, but for now, I need to accept my disaster.
My papers will likely always feel under-researched, I will always have body image issues, and my hair will not cooperate. I am still learning the ropes of a french press coffee maker, and have yet to determine the right grind, amount, and time. School is almost done, and frankly, I don’t really care much about my grade anymore. I’m not even sure University was for me. At least not right now. So getting out is my main focus.
What all this has to do with training and cooking specifically, I’m not sure. It has more to do with life and self acceptance. An introduction to me. Acknowledging the good and the bad, and embracing it.
So this is me.