I teach yoga. I preach yoga. I study yoga. I read yoga. I love yoga. I practice yoga. Sometimes. Disconnect.
There was a time, starting about 10 years ago, when I would swim. Ever day after school. Every. Single. Day. No matter what. Then I stopped swimming. I started going to the gym. Every day after school. Every. Single. Day. Rain, shine, sick, tired, essays, exams, homework, didn’t matter. I would go. It wasn’t a question, there was no debate. It just was. Then I moved, went to university, got a job, found a boyfriend, and made excuses. It felt like the box I’d packed my determination and dedication into got left behind. Also packed in there was my sense of self and a handful of other important things. Up until recently, I’d been feeling lost. I tried blaming my Dad, the school, his job, my boyfriend, my stepmom, depression, the country, you name it. But truth is – none of that blaming fixed it.
Fast forward to last year and I found yoga, and Asia. It was hard, but it felt good. I had made the financial commitment to eight classes, so I showed up. There were days I cried on my way to class, not wanting to go, for no distinguishable reason. I went anyways. It was an hour and fifteen minutes of someone else moving me, telling me what to do and when to breathe. I could shut off. I signed up for two classes the following semester. Then I did YTT1.
I guess I caught the yoga bug, but something was working. I met all these new, incredible people who share the same passions I do, and made some amazing friends. After, well, during YTT1, I had a breakdown, or twelve. Life sucked. I was stressed, exhausted, sick, depressed, you name it. Overbooked and under-slept. I just physically and mentally couldn’t. And yet, I wrote and passed the exam, taught my mandatory classes, and got my certification. I taught a few classes here and there, and fell in love. Then I did YTT2.
So here I am. Night after the last 10-hr yoga day. Taught my last required class. And I’m exhausted. But I’m here to make a commitment. Because if I’m going to talk the yoga talk, I need to walk the yoga walk.
I, Suz, will do a daily yoga practice at least 6 days each week for the next 30 days. This does not include classes I take – they will be extras. I will blog about this, daily.
Stay tuned! -lift-