Today was Day 1 of Mysore at Energi – I didn’t realize until later. I’ve been doing my own for a week or so now, and today was the first time in a long time, that I felt like I needed someone else around to help me just get through practice. I’m wondering if I just missed my group of awesome yoga buddies!
The whole practice was a struggle – critic, negotiator, slacker, even the jerk in the back was up this morning and they were all chattering away in my head. I’ve been finding a lot of strange emotional responses to yoga (and lifting) lately. I haven’t given them too much attention, just a “hmm, how interesting” but its starting to become clear just how much all this “being bendy moving your arms and legs around” yoga stuff brings up and makes you deal with your shit.
The first week was great. I felt great, it was exciting, I was reaching my simple (but not easy) goal of getting on the mat every morning. Rah! Then… the shiny wore off. My body got a little more tired. My neck and back sore. My hips are realigning. Its no longer just “novelty morning mysore yoga” – its starting to become part of a routine, part of life. Its a natural response – that second week of making or breaking any habit is usually the biggest hurdle. I know I have to push through it, learn from it, and later on I’ll be able to use it to my advantage. I suppose it comes back to Cope and Stone’s differing views on struggle. Is it necessary? Should we embrace it, endure it, or run from it? I’m thinking we use it.
The stronger I can make my practice now, when all the voices in my head are throwing out reasons for giving up, the stronger it’ll be in the long run, when any number of things will come up. This is where that commitment and dedication comes up. This is where I remind myself WHY I am getting my tired, sore body out of bed before the birds to unroll my mat, again, to practice. I am doing it for me. Because my mind and body need it. Because for TWO hours out of twenty four in a day, I have all the tools necessary to set life aside and just be. We might take it for granted, but thats a pretty powerful thing we all have now.
To anyone doing the yoga challenge: rock the mat! And seriously consider journaling. Its cool to go back, even just a week later, and see where you started. Another great journal is the practice itself – its unbelievable how much change happens in so little time with daily practice.