Today was the day that almost broke me. Just two days away from the 30-day mark, and 12 from the 40. I woke up exhausted, and not fully aware of why my alarm was ringing. I got in and out of bed a couple times, but ultimately slept until noon. I’ve been feeling the effects of having no weekend (or any day off, really) for a while now, and this morning was the final straw. Everything has been achey, and I’ve been fighting this almost-sick feeling for a few days now, so I felt no guilt in hiding under the covers with a kitten wrapped around my head for a few extra hours. The 6am practice is AWESOME most days, but on days that it’s not, I need to work out a way to fit it in anyways. There’s no other way to keep this up as a daily practice otherwise.
When I did finally get on the mat, I began negotiations, though I felt stronger than I have in days. I did cheat and only do 3 salutations, but other than that, I worked my way through the series, skipping the lotus postures to spare my knee. As I moved through, my mind raced ahead to pick a new posture to try and sweet talk its way out of although I know full well I enjoy the full series and always feel a bit short skipping important postures. Its a direct reflection on my life really – I’m constantly coming up with excuses for not getting out and having fun when I know it’ll be a blast if I just suck it up and go.
Practice went as usual today, my mind drifting between total focus on breath to anything but. I’ve been getting these strange urges to either throw some punches or hunker down in a protective child’s pose the last few days. Not entirely sure what its about, so I’m just observing with a “hmm, how interesting” approach.
Back to rocking the mat bright and early tomorrow.