First off: WOOT! almost at the 30-day mark and still l-o-v-i-n-g it! Actually, I think I’m loving it even more now. I remember starting, feeling like 30 days would take so long and that it was almost scary to be committing to it. It dawned on me today that I have committed to far more negative, destructive habits for YEARS without so much as batting an eye, so why should this 30-days of a totally wicked-awesome practice be so challenging? Ahem, besides the up-with-the-sun part.
“Still the mind” they say. Uh, yeah, sure. My brain is like a sugar-buzzed ADHD kid on speed. On a good day. Its a constant battle through practice, savasana, and just every day really. I find myself constantly thinking, questioning, analyzing, explaining my way days away. It becomes extremely obvious when I’m on the mat, trying to silence those chattering monkeys. It has yet to happen naturally, leaving me in a constant battle between moments of silence and long periods of chatter. Today was no different – I had a great practice in spite of my body being determined to remind me of every pound lifted in last night’s workout. But my mind kept wandering. The more I tried to silence it, the more discouraged I got. Leaving me stuck, again, between frustration and defeat.
It hadn’t occurred to me until I sat down to write this, and as I contemplate four more years of school, that I have spent the last 22 years learning. Teaching my brain to think, question, explain and analyze everything it comes across. It seems a bit ridiculous now to expect to reverse all those years of conditioning in just a few hours and weeks. It’s going to take time to still the mind, just like it took time to coerce my hamstrings into anything resembling a forward fold. Back to the beginning… “practice, practice, all is coming.”