My grandmother found evidence of a mouse in her house. This was my clearly appropriate response:

There once was a mouse
Who borrowed a house
As the weather grew cold by the day.

Though the floor boards did squeak
He dared not make a peep
As he looked for a nice place to stay.

The room, it was green!
Perfectly fit for a queen,
‘How lovely’ his young bride would say.

Sure the chair had a hole,
But the slippers – fuzzy soles!
A winter here would be perfectly okay.

As he scuttled about,
He decided, no doubt,
They would move in the very next day.

Upon their return,
Dinner became no concern
When she saw the bed, and squeaked ‘Horray!’

These people, oh how kind
For they had left to find
Chocolate cookies laid out on a tray.

So a picnic they had,
On a blanket not quite plaid
It was just like their sweet wedding day.

They ate until stuffed,
My oh my, they were chuffed,
All their worries, now munched away.

With tummies all fed,
It was clearly time for bed
Time to find a warm place to lay

Out of sight, out of mind
They would easily find
A cozy place, so he knelt to pray

Thank you for the biscuits,
Finally – no more Triscuits!
Here’s to tomorrow, another wonderful day!